Black boxer briefs and my fall from the fashion elite
The other day I was in a waiting room and picked up a copy of the latest OUT magazine. It usually has some decent articles in it and I can usually get at least one small tidbit of advice from it on being the upstanding, responsible gay man that I am supposed to be.
This time was different. Towards the end of the magazine the article titled, 12 MUST HAVES FOR FALL caught my attention and so I checked out these can't live without, must have or death will be imminent items for the 20-something gay man. The items were what was expected, shirts, a tie, a blazer, jeans, etc. except for the last one. Apparently to make it through the fall season I MUST purchase a pair of BLACK boxer briefs. WHAT!??!?!?!?
Why is it that I must change my underwear choice to be in the fall fashion elite?? Who sees me in my underwear anyway?? Me and my boyfriend. I doubt very seriously that Michael will point and laugh the next time that he sees my underwear if they arent black boxer briefs and I couldn't care anyless about them, as long as they are clean then they could be purple and pink.
What we have here is plain and simple marketing GENUIS. The people at the underwear company got together with the people at OUT magazine and said lets trick the 20 something cosmopolitan homos into thinking that they must buy all new underwear. While I have a brain and a sense of what is and is not necessary I can block this marketing scheme. Who I am most concerned about are the younger more impressionable queens out there. They will see this and RUN to the store spending their hard earned money on a pair of 2xist black boxer breifs when they should really be saving that money for the lease payment on their Mercedes.
I say the answer to all of this is.......stop wearing underwear all together. REALLY hit those companies back where it hurts the most. If everyone stopped wearing underwear then maybe they might begin to realize that they can't control our minds with their insane marketing schemes. As far as OUT magazine goes, I hope all of your staff got free black boxer breifs for publishing that article.
posted by Boy from Stage Left @ 9:41 AM
2 Comments:
I am very glad to see that you are finally learning something about our evil consumer society. Unfortunately, I think that you may be delusional about your status as a former member of the fashion elite.
Vote Socialist,
David
Don't listen to him, I'm sure you were quite elite, Sweetheart. Now, as for the underwear ban--as a woman, I'm afraid I can't get behind the idea of a nation of freeballers just roaming at will in public. It's bad enough when it happens in the confines of my own home. As for the boxer-brief phenomenon, my Dad started it all in this family. He loved them. So I bought Alex some Calvin Klein ones (prior to that, he would ONLY wear silk boxers, which was just an undue burden on the dry-cleaning bill. He loved the CKs. Then Dillard's stopped carrying them, and things got rough. Well, BIL Chip discovered that the Champion brand carried at Sam's is really quite close to the design of CK, at a fraction of the cost. So, depending upon your perspective, we've either beat the elitist undergarment mafia, OR we're contributing to the downfall of Main Street America by patronizing Sam's Club. Your choice.
But on a serious tip--black CK boxer-briefs? Sex-AAAAYYYYY. I'm just sayin'.
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