Learning and the Uncertian

Being 23 is an interesting time in any persons life, I think. You are standing on the great precipice of life, like standing on a cliff looking into the great unknown. A lot of people who are may age, most people in fact, are beginning to settle into their careers, finding partners to share that life with and sometimes find themselves smack in the middle of solving that great riddle of who they are.

Life is an ever changing creature. You learn with each new day. Your limits are tested and you end up questioning things that you once thought were the truths carved in stone. A lot of people turn to religion and trust that whatever higher power they believe in will lead them in the right direction. I have never been one that has been comfortable with an organized religion. I guess that I have always felt like an outsider looking in and possibly I am too much of a control freak in regards to my own destiny.

I have become more open to the curving path of life. I take experiences that I have had, experience and advice from older generations and I try and trust my own judgement to make the best decision on where I should be going. The trouble is, I am not sure where exactly that place is. We all question what our purpose in this great big wide world is and I am no exception to this. Strangely what I have discovered in the past few weeks is that I am more uncertain than I appear to be. I have never asked myself what it is about myself that I like, dislike, or otherwise. Up until now, that man that stood looking back at me in the mirror was just a reflection. Not really a person with thoughts and feelings but a reflection. What I discovered when I began to realize that their is a person there is that I don't know anything about that man. What has made him the way that he is? What will make him into the man that he longs to be? Who is the man that he longs to be?

In general I have a fear of the uncertain in life. I am always concerned about what is going or not going to happen and what I have to realize is that I have all of the tools to mold me into the man that people strive to imitate. That I believe is truly whom I want to be. It is the getting there that is the hard part.