Societies Mask

GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!! Life is interesting to say the least. People come in and out of our lives based on social interaction and whether or not they stick around as friends is based a lot on how well we get along and an underlying trust and faith that that person is 'real and honest' with us at all times. What seems to be the actual truth of society is that eveyone wears a metaphorical mask to hide the shortcomings or feelings of inadequiaces.

I, myself, have done it, I know. There have been many Britts, or 'faces of Britt' all based on the unrealistic image of perfection that is laid upon us from birth. All brought on by the group of people that I am surrounded with. Successful business man Britt, drunk Britt, party boy Britt all have made an appearance at one point or another just to name a few.

The image of perfection is one of the 'agreements' that we make at an early age. We see role models as we grow up and see the lives that they lead and come to an agreement with society as to what perfection actually is, no matter the actual cost.

Over the past several months I have tried to wear the 'real Britt' face. The caring, compassionate, and happy face that has transcended through time, pain, and life. I realize that I still strive to reach this level of perfection but it becomes less important to me as I live day to day and realize that the only thing that I can be is the perfect Britt.

People compare themselves to one another day in and day out. Level of success, cars, family, houses are all put on the block and can create a negative picture of us depending on the comparison. Obviously, if I compared myself to a 40 year old high level executive this would bring about mass amounts of depression because it would be plain to see that he/she has more than I do. But does he/she really? In comparing ourselves with others we see the outside and know very little about what actually makes up the person. They can be frustrated, having a failing marriage but seem as though they live a gilded life because they have a big house and a Mercedes.

The missing piece of this comparison is that people cannot compare themselves to one another realistically. Sure, we look to our peers in comparison but even this is not a true and telling sign of where or WHO we are as a person. Peoples maturity levels, emotions, and physical beings all progress at a much different rate than the person sitting next to you who may be the same age.

I guess the point of this is that I have tried to look at myself and compare me with ONLY me. Who am I now and who was I five years ago? Am I a better person, friend, son, and brother? Would I be friends with the person that I was five years ago and if not, then what strides am I making now to assure that I would be friends with my current self in five years? Its a question that I ask myself throughout time.

It seems as though sometimes people are pulled apart by the social masks that they feel they must wear. This is a logical explanation because if people hide the true person that they really are, how can they make and maintain meaningful friendships and relationships?

It seems as though a lot of negativity has been swirling around me lately. Most of it brought on by the almighty liquor induced absence of self that seems omnipresent. I stopped drinking in July because I wanted to step back and took a real look at who I actually was, what I was doing, and what I would be doing if I wasn't influenced by anything other than my own thoughts and feelings. What I found is that in five years, I would not be friends with my current self because to be frank I was a judgemental asshole.

Taking a long hard look at yourself is a difficult task at best. When other people judge you, you can write the comments off as well as the person making them. But only when you judge yourself can you truly get a clear picture of who you are in comparison with yourself. It takes guts and somtimes causes a lot of pain, for only you know the truth and as I have found, only that truth can set you free.