Not so much home anymore...

This weekend was a bit strange and somewhat difficult to describe but as usual, I will do my best. I traveled to Arkansas on Friday, somewhat excited about the weekend. I had not been home in several months, had not seen my LR friends in the same time and was looking forward to visiting with some old friends and meeting some new ones. A friend of mine has been wanting to introduce me to a friend of his for quite some time. We have talked via the internet for quite a while and he is a really great person, so I was looking forward to finally hanging out after months of talking and laughing over the net. He wasn't feeling so hot on Friday and wound up being pretty ill so it was not to be but I was there mostly to see my mom and have a good time with her.

Saturday was the spa day which was great. I am always a fan of being pampered. Pamper me and then let me loose on the world with my credit card and we have the makings of an absolutely fabulous day. We lunched, we shopped and generally had a great time. Saturday night was interesting. After deciding that my host and hostess, LOL, were going to stay at home and watch home improvement shows I decided that I was going to need to get out of there. I went to a BBQ that a friend of mine was attending and met some really interesting people. Its amazing the clarity that comes with sobriety and also the complete feeling of control when you are able to carry on an intelligent conversation for longer than two seconds and the topic is NOT about luxury linens from Pottery Barn.

sidenote: I havent ever really carried on a drunken conversation about luxury linens from Pottery Barn but I am currently ordering my 1000 thread count sheets from there complete with HBC monogram on the duvet cover. LOVE IT!!! Thanks Mom.

Anyway, all of this is leading to a point I promise. IN life, we make a lot of decisions and sometimes we go into thesae with some trepidation and angst. When I moved to Dallas two years ago I moved here confidant that I was making the right choice only to be followed by feelings of home sickness and regret. Dallas was not Little Rock, I had very few friends
(read: 1) and I missed being the social butterfly that I had been in Little Rock. Of course, this was compacted when I started dating Michael and was there every five minutes. Its difficult to find friends and form relationships with people when you aren't present. While I have an awesome spiritual presence, I think that my physical form is much more interesting. Anyway, after Michael and I broke up and I started making friendships I began to slowly realize that the universe was showing me that I had made the best choice by moving here. While I of course miss my family and friends that I had in Little Rock, I miss my family and friends that I have made here even more when I am gone.

This weekend sort of sealed the deal. While I love seeing all my old friends, its quite obvious to me at least that I have outgrown Little Rock, almost like those favorite pair of jeans that you wear for years and years. Then one day you reach for them and they dont fit anymore. Little Rock doesn't fit anymore. Not a bad thing, not a good thing, just a fact of my life. There are things that I have gained interest in and most of them don't have much place there.

It will always be good to go back but it will be better going forward into the future of the place that I now consider my complete home, Dallas.