Judgement and Betrayl

Its easy to do.

Before we even realize what we are doing the words come tumbling out like an avalanche. Hes a slut, she drinks too much. I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to judgement. I have tried in the past to remain nuetral and just listen to the situation but I always find my mind wandering into that field mine laiden area of judgement. Its dangerous, can ruin friendships and end relationships. I can actually accomplish the nuetral listening friend role, it just takes concentration.

But what happens when you become so judgemental that you have to wrap yourself in lies just to be able to save face? When suddenly you have talked so much that you can't let any of your friends in on your actual life because you realize that you are human, just like them.

For weeks, I have been struggling with someone in my life who was very close. A good friend. Down on his luck, it seemed as though a break would not be forth coming. This of course, drove him into somewhat of a depression, leading to a lot of alcohol consumption, drug use, deceit, and behavior that was totally unlike and unbecoming of the person that I met months ago and developed a friendship with.

Its strange what our minds will clue us into when we aren't really paying attention. The story of the utter demise of the friendship is long, drawn out, and some what tedious in its pattern so I will spare you the intimate details. Just know that given multiple chances to redeem himself from the lies, he was staunch in his decision to remain as the accused only proving him guilty in my mind. Evidence to support the so called 'truth' would be easily presented and the accusation of the lie immediately withdrawn and apologized for, but instead he chose to base his explanation solely on his word which, at this point, has lost all credit with me.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. This may be a particularly harsh way of looking at the world but honestly, how many times can you expect to completely deceive your friends and not lose one or two. I gave him a chance and he didn't take it. A chance for redemption and instead he chose the road of betrayl.

CRAZY MR BUCKET LEG

It has come to managements attention (me) that I just cannot possibly do anymore productive accounting within the hours of this particular day. For some reason my brain has shut totally down and seems to reject any sort of math like activity

quote from thoughts "NO, STOP IT, STEP AWAY FROM THE TEN KEY"

I think that this is a possible reaction to the fact that I ate at Chipotle for lunch. Chipotle ROCKS, they have these great burritos that are the size of my car and I was SO hungry this afternoon that I wolfed one down. My stomach is now beginning its early rejection process. In short, I feel bloated and may need to go home, lay on my bed, and moan. Not that this would help but for some reason an 'upright position' is NOT helping me at all. Thank God I am not on an airplane because the flight attendant and I would go round and round about it.

Meanwhile, I dropped my car off for service this morning and for some reason the service manager thought that he would be able to get my alignment covered under the warranty. I never did because I know when I did it. Not to mention that the streets of Dallas TX are SO horrible that I am sure I will be needing another one tomorrow.

On a more amusing note. Since I bought my car in April, I have gotten tons (at least two or three a week) of gas credit card offers. I mostly ignored them. Finally, last week I applied for one just so that they will STOP with all of this craziness and I got it today. Talk about quick approval. $2500.00, this is my credit limit. My question to you, precious internets WHO NEEDS THIS MUCH?? I have told roommate and BFF Blake if I get out of control and try to buy tons of snacks to send me to therapy. LOL.

Incredible Weekend to Remember

This weekend was my first time in attendance to the annual Dallas/ Ft. Worth Federal Club Black Tie Dinner and let me just tell you that it was an incredible event that I am already looking forward to being able to experience again next year.

Every year, the Black Tie Dinner raises millions of dollars to help HIV/AIDS research as well as benefit the Human Rights Campaign in its equal rights for everyone lobbying.

It is an amazing night that is difficult to express but I was brought to tears several times in during the two hour dinner. Gena Davis and Alan Cummings both spoke and they were amazing and very inspirational in speaking about the fight for equal rights and what it will mean for the people of our community when one day we finally do receive recognition as equals instead of outcasts.

You have to imagine a room filled with 3,000 formally dressed people all laughing and indicating that not only was our lifestyle okay, it was fabulous and would continue to improve.

Words can't express my gratitude for my oppurtunity to be a part of that event.

Truly Random

To try and even begin to catch you up to where I am NOW and where I was previously would prove futile because I apparently can't committ to even blogging on a daily basis. Truly, I probably have been abandoned by all of my interenets anyway seeing as how my last posting was a couple days after Adam and Eve got in that whole "eat the apple, don't eat the apple" argument.

So, I will tell you what is happening RIGHT NOW. Work has been progressing rather well. The final tax deadline has come and gone and now I can settle in to catching up all of my clients that were so wrecklessly abandoned in the wake of mountains of paper related to that evil government institution, without which, I wouldn't have a job.

This weekend is the 25th Annual Black Tie Dinner sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign and the Dallas Fort Worth Federal Club. Its an annual dinner/fundraiser that raises literally millions of dollars for HIV/AIDS research and equality lobbying among other things. I am going!!! YAY!!!! My tux is hanging in the closet, freshly pressed and waiting to be donned by my freshly couifed, manicured, fabulous self. The coif and the manicure happens Friday and Saturday respectively. Black Tie is a HUGE celebration and according to everyone who has been in previous years, you leave with a sense of pride that you didn't realize was capable by just a dinner. Lets break it down, its 3,000 gay men and lesbians, drinking, dancing, and flashing the American Express card at the silent auction.

sidenote: Last year, Sharon Stone auctioned her Manolo Blahniks (that she was wearing) for $25,000. Seriously, someone paid $25K for a pair of used Manolos and while I do HEART Sharon AND Manolo, um, I would rather pay off my car, but I suppose its all relative. Needless to say, I probably won't be coming out with a pair of Jimmy Choos. LOL.

I took the Enrolled Agent exam over the past three weekends and true to form, it will take the IRS forever (January) to get me the results so everyone keep your fingers crossed about my passing that. Can we say raise?

I noticed today that my butt is beginning to fade away, possibly caused by the weight loss that has been much to my joy over the past few months. I noticed this today while I was in the elevator going to get the mail. I also noticed that there is a mysterious spot on my pants that I sent them to the cleaners for..

Which leads me to my dry cleaner. She is cheap, she is convienant, she doesn't speak English, and she calls me Jimmy Carter everytime I walk in. I realize that while YES, I do have the surname of a former peanut farming President, now building houses for the poor, my first name is BRITT not Jimmy. Not even close. I think that is the only thing that she knows about American history and therefore I am forever cursed. But whatever, its a small price to pay for cheap dry cleaning considering that 95% of my clothes now go to the dry cleaners.

Here is something else that sticks in my craw. Apparently, Texaco, Shell, Citgo, and Exxon ALL think that I am desperate for a gas card. yes, I did just buy a new car but that does not mean that I want to get a new credit card to go along with it. Seriously, its everyday with these people. They have to be rejection junkies or something.

Two weeks is Thanksgiving and I am SO F ING EXCITED!!!! I miss my mom SO much and I am ready to head to the Rock for a once again small reminder as to why it is that I left. No matter how much fun I have there seeing my friends and aquaintances, I am always so glad to be back home in Dallas but I always relish in the thought of seeing everyone, INCLUDING YOU SHANNON AND VIC. Vic I saw you last time, but Shannon I DID NOT AND YOU OWE ME SISTER!!!!!

Anyway, off to do some more accounting work so that I can keep my job and pay for my alleged gas credit card. LOL.

Love to you all,

B