Personal Space

Your personal space is a very delicate and sometimes precious thing. Like air, it isn't really noticed until you don't have any.

Take this afternoon, for example. I went to the Post Office to buy 2 cent stamps. While standing in line waiting for the next counter person, a man got in line behind me. Apparently he thought that if he got RIGHT NEXT to me the line would move faster. Becoming increasingly aware of how close he was to me, I moved slightly forward and to the side. He took this as his chance to get closer. It made me INCREDIBLY uncomfortable almost to the point of screaming and running out of the office. Finally, the next counter person was available so I went and purchased my stamps. Before I left, I looked back and he was leaning over the counter trying to conduct his business with the person behind the counter. Obviously, this man did not learn that you should give people their space.

After Market Alarms and Love Field

In Dallas, there are two airports. DFW, which is WAY far away from me and Love Field which could be in my bathroom. I am not sure. Daily, Southwest planes fly overhead and I have gotten used to the roar. In fact, I think that if asleep a plane could land in my bedroom and I might roll over.

Recently, there has been a new resident move into my fine apartment complex. In their wisdom, they installed the ever famous after market car alarm. i.e. punishment for the innocent. After installation this person had the sensitivity monitor set to feather duster and therefore it is continuously going off. It discriminates at no time, as alarms should do but at the same time, I do not like being awakened at 3 in the morning to the siren peels. Interesting concept right, a Boeing 737 can't wake me but a car alarm can. This because the jets are breif and far away and the alarm is next to my window.

If it were on a vehicle that, oh I don't know, NEEDED an alarm I might be slightly more forgiving but seriously, NO ONE WANTS TO STEAL YOUR 1984 Impala. So as I sit here, blogging, I listen to its alarm alerting the owner that there could possibly be an intruder somewhere in the vicinity getting ready to make off with his precious vehicle and leave him stranded forced to take DART to work or wherever it is that he goes. What I have realized in the past is that there is often a 'boy who cried wolf' affect. Pretty soon, you begin to ignore the alarm thinking that it is just another false alert, only to end up seeing an empty space where your car used to be. I can only hope for this. Either that or a Southwest jet to land ON the car. That would be okay too.

Oddities and an Introduction

I am late in doing this. Similar to most things in life, my blog is somewhat backwards. There was really no introduction I just sort of started blogging. So people running across my first blog I am sure were thinking, WHO IS THIS GUY, what is his story and why is he ranting about the North Dallas Tollway. Today, I decided that i needed to introduce me in my own very special way. Its long and drawn out but I have 23 years to cover people.

I grew up in Jacksonville, Arkansas. Sort of. I loved riding horses when I was younger. I had several. I was a child of divorce at 8 and of remarriage at 13. I graduated from North Pulaski High School in 2000. I was in drama. I was named the Best Public Speaker in Arkansas in 2000. I was in Student Council. My first job was at the Gap in McCain Mall, North Little Rock, then Banana Republic, Little Rock. I went to the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville. I joined a fraternity. I was Vice President of said fraternity when I came out of the closet. I have received hateful voicemails because of that. I had a Mustang GT convertible that I LOVED. I moved to Little Rock from Fayetteville for a boy. I worked for an interior decorator and a salon. I managed a cable company. I moved to Dallas. I have a gay brother. I have a straight brother. I have a niece whom I adore but who intimidates me. I have a BEAUTIFUL sister-in-law. I work for an accounting firm in Dallas. I love the smell of fresh laundry and the new car smell of Toyota and Honda. I used over 2000 minutes on my cell phone last month. I want a dog. Not just any dog, I want a standard poodle. I LOVE sunglasses. As an accessory. I have five pairs that I reguarly wear. I think the Toyota 4Runner is the best looking sport utility ever made. I LOVE cars. If I were a credit card, I would be American Express because there is no limit to what I can do when I put my mind to it. I have experienced great love and the heartbreak that sometimes accompanies that. I LOVE red wine. Drinking it, learning about it, everything. I love red. My kitchen is painted purple. I bought a duvet cover from the kids section at Ikea. Netflix is the greatest idea yet regarding movie rentals. Joan Crawford is the most FABULOUS of all the old actresses. I think that women without makeup are more beautiful than with it. I have a secret crush on Paul Wall. Music from my years in college makes me happy. I have a tattoo on my shoulder blade. I forget its there. I have girly handwriting. I am concerned about the future of this country. I am a member of the North Texas GLBT chamber of commerce. I believe that gay people should be allowed civil unions. White carpet and Ben Stiller movies make me nervous. I do my best thinking in the shower. I think that a man with a little scruff is sexy. I am a cuddler. I love to stand in the rain and let it drench me. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I still believe in the inheirant good in all people. I am considering Buddhism as a religion. I worry about nothing. A lot. I like to walk around in my apartment with no clothes on. My fridge has condiments in it. Thats it. My favorite french fries are from Chik-Fil-A and I love to dip them in mayonnaise. But only there packaged mayo. I have cried in public for no apparent reason. I got my first speeding ticket at 17, ssssshhhh, my mother doesn't know. I tried to get out of it by pretending to cry. It didn't work. I name my cars. Raven, Skyy, and Nigel. I love when I go and visit my brother that his standard poodle, Sage, jumps up and puts his paws on my chest. I also love that he walks over and puts his head in my lap. I have Louis Vuitton luggage. It may be fake, it may be stolen. It looks real and I didn't pay 2000 dollars for it. I WILL go to Greece in my lifetime. I have read the Gucci family biography. I think that I am an intelligent person. I like problem solving. I like to give advice to my friends. I can be quick-witted, sarcastic, and have a dry sense of humor. I can say some REALLY funny stuff. I have said some really stupid things. "Dora the Explorer is Asian." Thats right I said it. I love music. I know the lyrics to most songs. I love to dance and I am good at it. I have an unmeasurable amount of respect and love for my mother. Pep Rallies for Razorback games are the most fun event that I have ever been to in my life.

These are a few things. There are a lot more but I guess that to really know everything about me you have to know me. So to my internet family. Hi, I'm Britt and this is about 1% of what makes me, me.

Learning and the Uncertian

Being 23 is an interesting time in any persons life, I think. You are standing on the great precipice of life, like standing on a cliff looking into the great unknown. A lot of people who are may age, most people in fact, are beginning to settle into their careers, finding partners to share that life with and sometimes find themselves smack in the middle of solving that great riddle of who they are.

Life is an ever changing creature. You learn with each new day. Your limits are tested and you end up questioning things that you once thought were the truths carved in stone. A lot of people turn to religion and trust that whatever higher power they believe in will lead them in the right direction. I have never been one that has been comfortable with an organized religion. I guess that I have always felt like an outsider looking in and possibly I am too much of a control freak in regards to my own destiny.

I have become more open to the curving path of life. I take experiences that I have had, experience and advice from older generations and I try and trust my own judgement to make the best decision on where I should be going. The trouble is, I am not sure where exactly that place is. We all question what our purpose in this great big wide world is and I am no exception to this. Strangely what I have discovered in the past few weeks is that I am more uncertain than I appear to be. I have never asked myself what it is about myself that I like, dislike, or otherwise. Up until now, that man that stood looking back at me in the mirror was just a reflection. Not really a person with thoughts and feelings but a reflection. What I discovered when I began to realize that their is a person there is that I don't know anything about that man. What has made him the way that he is? What will make him into the man that he longs to be? Who is the man that he longs to be?

In general I have a fear of the uncertain in life. I am always concerned about what is going or not going to happen and what I have to realize is that I have all of the tools to mold me into the man that people strive to imitate. That I believe is truly whom I want to be. It is the getting there that is the hard part.

Tricks of the subconscience and Jamacian Men

For some reason and I don't know quite why yet, all morning long, I have had the voice of a Jamacian man saying "Come to the islands mon!!" He is very insistant on my coming to these said 'islands' but my question is, where? Is he saying that I need to come to Jamaica? That is only ONE island, shouldn't he be saying "Come to the ISLAND mon?? Who knows.

It, I believe is one of the mysteries of the mind. Similar to when you get something stuck in your head and you can't get it out. Last night, I was at my brothers and his partner Mark, in preparation for his trip to England loaded EVERY CD KNOWN TO MAN on his iPod and left one CD sitting on Davids desk. The 1994 released Ace of Base, The Sign album. So all night the song, "All That She Wants" was stuck in his head. Which I find incredibly amusing.

I wonder who will ever be able to unlock this secret??

Tale from the Past

I have decided that I need to read more blogs. Its fun and its interesting what goes on in peoples lives. I kept thinking to myself the whole time that I was reading, WHY is my life not this interesting?? I know that I do funny stuff, say funny things, and generally have a good time. WHY am i so BLEEDING boring? In all actuality I'm not. I just forget to remember the things that happen to me that are so ridiculous.

True Story, picture, Dallas, march 2005. (I feel like Sophia Petrillo) Anyway, I get home from yet another day at the office. I am stressed about something, I think at that point it was money. This is my thought process if I can remember correctly, so broke, so broke, so broke, in big trouble, need money. I could sell my liver. No, no one would buy it, its used and used HARD. Wait, I never use my computer, I can sell that. No, who would buy it.

You get the picture.

Anyway, I am on the phone with one of my friends bitching in general about how much it sucks to be, to quote Suze Orman, Young Fabulous and Broke. And it does, by the way. So I am on the phone, smoking a cig (no comments) and I put it out on the concrete floor of my patio and set the butt on the rail because I am thinking I will be out there to smoke another one and then I will drown them in the sink and disposal them. Apparently, I didn't.

About two hours later, I am laying in bed and I smell smoke. So I get out of bed and walk into the living room, look out on the balcony and the corner of the railing is in flames. Me, naked by the way, in my wisdom, run to the kitchen get a drinking glass, fill with water and pour on the flame.

BOOOOO!!!!! I missed that day in ELEMENTARY when they taught you that would NOT work. So I am running, naked mind you, back and forth from kitchen to balcony with glass of water.

Not working, so I grab a pair of jeans and try and beat it out. Yeah, that didn't work either. I finally smarten up get a bucket fill with water and get it put out.

Meanwhile, I notice that there is a bald queen standing under the balcony on the phone no doubt with the DFD. So I stand there, wrapped in my Pi Kappa Alpha blanket from college and watch the Fire Dept arrive. The following conversation ensues;

DFD:

How do we get up there?

Me:

The stairs......???

After arriving in my apt they rip all parts of my railing off. Mind you fire is out and they did more damage than the fire did...

DFD:

You can't use your balcony as an ashtray, do you have dishwashing liquid?

Me:

Yes and I didn't

I give them the dishwashing soap and they pour it all over what is LEFT of my balcony railing which is basically freestanding lattice at this point. Then they leave, leaving behind big black footprints on my freshly vacumned WHITE carpet. Appreciated no doubt. One of them makes this comment

DFD HOMO 1:

Is this a rental or did you buy it?

Me:

I rent

DFD HOMO 1 :

Did you pick the colors in here?

ME:

(puzzled) Yeah, why?

DFD HOMO 1:

I love them.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I know that I live in the so called 'gayborhood' of Dallas but come on. You are a fireman, all big and butch and supposed to be saving peoples lives not commenting on my choice of wall color.

That is just one of the many stories that I will be reveiling over the next few days. Feel free if you know any about me, please shoot me an e-mail and remind me.

OH, the best part is the $660.00 bill I got for repairs.

Taxes and 'Dallas'

Here it is January 24 and it is eeirly calm around my office. Last year, working in the CPA firm for the first time during tax season I was optimistic that I would be a tremendous help with the general day to day function of the office. This year, I am more and more concerned about exactly how much help I am going to be able to offer.

Without getting too detailed, so you don't fall asleep, I do a combination of things for the firm. I am a general renassiance man when it comes to work. I advertise, I mail, I distribute, I take care of a lot of general admin duties AS WELL AS doing actual tax returns and keeping up with my own month to month clients financial statements. All of that happened AFTER tax season last year so I was really only doing one thing through April 15. This year its different and I don't think that anyone has noticed that yet. I know that we are all busy but I have had a lot more laid on my plate and as it tends not to do, the day has not added hours. We will see.

On a brighter note, it is calm around the office and everyone seems to be in generally high spirits, laughter abounds and people arent grouchy and moody. I am sure that too will change once the flurry of paper and phone calls starts. The deluge is set to begin the first week of February which I can say, I am NOT looking forward too.

Tax season, its incredible on this side of the fence. Saturdays, weeknights until 8. I will basically move into my office. How exciting. What is to become of my Dallas watching nights??

Slow Progression

He forges his way through destruction
Undaunted by the seemingly impossible task of escape
There are steps that are easier
Followed very closely by a barrier
Forcing his retreat to paths that are all too familiar

As time passes, his well wishers begin to fatigue
And return to their daily grind
Leaving him there to support himsef

His desire to be furthur than logic will allow
Frustrates and confuses
While his fear of continuing through the labyritnth alone
Begins to chip away at the inner-strength and confidence
He once had

There are distractions which occupy his mind for short cycles
But when the abberations relinquish
He is left alone with his own thoughts
Thoughts of what was, what was on the track to cause such a calamity
What could have been and most puzzling
What will be.....

The Tenacious Passenger

A trainwreck
Seen by many and felt by only a precious two
For they were the last two left on the speeding bullett.

Starting as a euphoric experience, a natural high
It is something that not every one gets to experience.
It speeds along unstoppable as the passengers revel in its seemlessly never ending joy.

Suddenly something on the tracks and what once seemed to be the strongest of metal
Twists and breaks like the weakest of twigs
Glass shatters and lay in miniscule shards

Surrounded by distruction
Filled with fear
The passenger realizes that suddenly he is alone
Left to forge his path to safety unaided
He must battle against cuts and bruises towards the only escape, straight forward.

Pressing through what seems like a forest of pain and angst, sometimes overcome by the challenge, he wishes to lay on the broken glass and wait for help.
All the time realizing that no one can help, for this is his alone.
He can hear the onlookers and rescue workers on the outside giving encouragement and well wishes but HE ALONE can recover from this violent devastation

It will be one of the larger challenges to date for himself both physically and emotionally.
Yet he knows that he can overcome.
He is unyielding and tenacious.


He is a survivor.....

New Years Eve, "Reptile Outfits" Satin Full Lengths, and White Louis Vuitton bags

HAPPY 2006!!!!!! Like many people I spent my 2006 in a bar in Little Rock with friends listening to GREAT live music provided by my friend Chads band, B-Side and of course swilling one too many libations. Naturally when one partakes of the drink you see very interesting sights, or at least your perspective of such sights is dramatically altered.

For your examination, I present to you three examples of the Fashion Victims of New Years 2006;

Victim #1

As my friends and I were sitting in a booth at Sticky Fingers there appeared a woman who was, if I had to guess, mid 40's (i.e. old enough to know better), wearing a complete outfit.

Let me define outfit from my standpoint.

outfit - noun - a set of clothing that is of the same pattern and design from top to bottom. usually a mistake, typically made of a bad fabric with an even worse design.

So you got the picture so far. Mid 40s, wearing an outfit that was of horizontal zig zag pattern and seemed, from afar, to have previously been the skin of a reptile. What sort of reptile I am unable to tell you for I did not venture close enough to see. All of this topped of with bleached blond hair with 'new growth' of about an inch and a half.

If the outfit and the hair were not bad enough then the uncontrollable Elaine Benice like dancing was the straw that broke the camels back.

I can say that she was having a great time so GOOD FOR HER. Although I cannot recommend, even faux, a reptile being the source of your clothing selection unless it is a handbag or a pair of shoes. But that is it. No one should have blouse and/or pants made of a crocodile.

VICTIM #2

I would like to begin by saying that at no time do I like the fabric, satin, unless used as an underlay or on a wedding dress. If you think about it, it doesn't hang well on anyones frame except for maybe Kate Moss and that is only because she weighs less than the fabric. To see someone come into a place like Sticky Fingers wearing a full length satin gown, was more than shocking.

Let me give you a rundown of Sticky's. Its a bar/restaurant. Mostly painted in bold primary colors with really funky art and light fixtures, it is a GREAT place to eat and also to listen to live music. Typical dress is jeans. The top can be anything from long underwear under a t-shirt bearing the phrase "White Trash" (worn by my brother Nate) to a button down untucked. A full length ANYTHING would stand out, whether it be fur, gown, or feature film.

Back to Ms. Satin. Again, satin doesn't hang well on anyone and she was no exception. She was a generally thin body frame but the bit around her tummy could not be hidden for the satin tells not tales. It was there for everyone to see. Also, she was apparently "unsupported" in the upper regions of her body and I disagree with this most strongly. Of course, I don't know A LOT about bras and upper body support on women but GIVE ME SOMETHING. Tape, a strapless, a corset anything just don't let them hang there lifeless especially if you insist on wearing satin. Her choice of accessories was odd. One of those "Sak" like bags that were all the rage several years ago except this one covered in half inch sequins. A casual bag to say the least but yet partnered with her full length. I disagree with this and I am unanimous in this.

VICTIM #3

Ms. Satins 'friend'.

This girl, bless her heart, forgot that it was December/January. I realize that it was close to 60 degrees on New Years Eve but still give me something here. She was not an unattractive girl by any standard but her choice of khaki GAP capri pants with a strappy sandal concerned me in January. Maybe it was the influence of my mother that taught me to dress for the season even if the season is freakishly warm. So capris, strappy sandals, denim jacket and a white multi-color Louis Vuitton purse.

SOAPBOX TIME: WHITE LOUIS VUITTON PURSE

Generally I like Louis Vuitton. There is a lot to be said of the unbelievable staying power that it has had over the past century. I think that people on the Titanic were carrying his luggage. So that has to say something. A couple of years ago, a Japanese cartoon illustrator turned clothing designer was commissioned to create what would be called the Murakami Multi-Color collection, first produced in white and then later in black. Typical Louis design just in REALLY bright pastel colors. In my humble opinion on fashion this bag is a spring bag, really almost just an easter bag but can go through summer but not so much in December. Remember that old rule, don't wear white shoes after Labor Day? Didn't that apply to purses as well.

Don't carry a white handbag after Labor Day?? Even if it is Louis Vuitton. They do make brown and black bags to carry the rest of the year.

Anyway, OFF THE SOAPBOX. We had a great time. Allison's boyfriend Chad saw a guy approaching her on the dance floor while he was playing the drums and tossed his stick at the guy to WARD him off for he was making a 'humping motion' towards her. One can only assume that this was his way of trying to dance with her. I guess we will never know.

It was lots of fun. My boyfriend looked rockin hot in the shirt that his wonderful boyfriend bought him for Christmas and rang in the New Year with a bang Hope everyones was as wonderful as mine!!!! HAPPY 2006~~~